Week 2: Doomsday Diagnosis

Hello my dear fantasy owners, the first week has been exciting and many players have taken to benches. Today we will be looking at various players and positions that are injured and have a decent chance of playing in week 2 games. Hear we go everyone!

Roddy White WR Atl:
The 1st part of a 2 headed monster at receiver in Atlanta, Roddy White has been a key part of everyone's fantasy team the past few years. He has hurt his groin and was a limited participate in practice today. White is listed as questionable but I believe that the extra rest till Monday night will help for the showdown with the Broncos.
Final Verdict: Will play

Pierre Garcon WR Was:
After a explosive week one and great connection with RG3, Garcon went down with a foot injury. He and the Redskins are very optimistic about it but the results coming out hasn't been good at all. He practiced very limited today which is a bad sign. Coaches don't know whether he could play or not.
Final Verdict: Will not play

Nate Washington WR Ten:
After a great week one and a spectacular touchdown, Washington went down with an injured leg. He didn't practice today which is definitely a bad sign. I really don't think he could make it against San Diego but Kenny Britt is coming along well.
Final Verdict: Will not play

Sidney Rice WR Sea
Rice had a solid week 1 against Patrick Peterson and the Cardinals. He snagged a TD and some good plays but his injuries once again caught up with him. He hurt his knee and missed practice 2 days in a row. Things are not looking too bright with him and injuries are just the last thing he needs.
Final Verdict: Will not play

Antonio Gates TE SD
The future HOF TE Gates has once again been injured on a very optimistic injury free year. Gates hurt his ribs and came out the game but came back and won SDK a league by 1 point! Gates was expected to practice today but didn't which is not looking good... He has played through injuries and I think he will here.
Final Verdict: Will play

Ryan Matthews RB SD
This very high expectations RB had a HUGE breakthrough today as he has been cleared for contact and practiced on limited terms. Matthews looks to be heading in the right direction but I just don't think he will play with the expected big amount of touches for Ronnie Brown.
Final Verdict: Will not play

Rashard Mendenhall RB Pit
With potential still left in the tank, Mendenhall practiced fully today which is a great sign. He looked great in practice and I think he will play.
Final Verdict: Will play

Jeremy Maclin WR Phi
After a great week 1 but the young stud, Maclin got injured in the game. He hurt his hip and didn't practice today, the situation doesn't look good at all for him and the Eagles.
Final Verdict: Will not play

Hakeem Nicks WR NYG
With a relatively disappointing week 1, Hakeem Nicks is questionable for week 2. As expected, Nicks came back to practice today and looks to be fine.
Final Verdict: Will play

Jonathan Stewart RB Car
After missing week 1, Stewart has practiced today and clearly cut and moved a lot better than he did Wednesday, that is a great sign.
Final Verdict: Will Play

Steve Smith WR Car
With great production at this age, the only thing that could hold back Smith is injuries. Coach Rivera did announce that Smith would play but he shut him down at practice today after a sore knee which puts him back on watch list for sure.
Final Verdict: Will play

Calvin Johnson WR Det
After coming back against the Rams, Johnson had a relatively small injury in his foot. He didn't practice Wednesday which caused a little concern but came back today with no steps back.
Final Verdict: Will play

Arian Foster RB Hou
With a great week 1, Foster reappeared back on the injury report after "not feeling well" on Wednesday's practice. He did return today which is great as he is such a stud.
Final Verdict: Will play

Colin Mccarthy LB Ten
Mccarthy is expected to have great things ahead, and after watching the Pats game I was impressed for sure. He did injure his ankle which is a bad sign and didn't practice Wednesday.
Final Verdict: Will play

James Harrison LB Pitt
The man who calls the commish a is injured once again with a knee. He didn't practice Wednesday but he said he was going to play week 2 which is a great sign.
Final Verdict: Will play

Rolando Mcclain LB Oak
This upcoming LB hurt his shoulder in the Monday Night beatdown against the Chargers. He didn't practice Wednesday but did come back Thursday and practiced on a limited basis.

That's all for now window foggers!

Dr Doomsday

Week 2: Magic 8 Ball Report

WEEK 2: Magic 8 Ball Report

RECORD (7-5)

Some might call the 8 Ball report prediction record sloppy, mediocre, or unimpressive. I call it, nearly perfect. After all, what do you expect from my black beauty. If you read between the lines, the ball was right every time. Let me splain....take the Demons/CCS call. The ball stated "Demons Suck." Was it wrong? I think not. For the Duffers/Gada tilt, my ball said "by a country mile." How far is that, really? You see, she is never really wrong. It is all about perception. Now, come along, come along now...................

ROCKY III
Legionnaires (1-0) v Diggers (0-1)

Week 1 for the Legionnaires was bliss. His team could do nothing wrong. Lance Moore with 20+. Freaking Kicker with 20+. Kevin Smith.....cmon. The Legionnaires have a good team. Good enough to keep that pace? Not so much. The Diggers, on the other hand, did their best to muster mediocrity. Cam with a bad week and a ZERO from Jared Allen? Not happening again. This week, I believe, the tide turns. The Diggers core studs have great match-ups all the way down the line. The world thought Clubber Lang couldn't be beat. The world thought Rocky was a paper champ. Mickey was.....was..104.......Apollo Creed(killers) got beat down and Adrian.....was never pretty....This weekend Rocky proves the world wrong and knocks out Clubber Lang with a loud(whatever noise that is that Rocky makes)......

and the 8 ball says(in the family feud dudes voice): I pity the fool

WHAT ABOUT BOB
Cats (1-0) v Demons (1-0)

Would you believe that this is the only game on the docket of undefeated teams facing each other. Well, it is. The Cats did just as predicted in week 1 making the Empire look weak. While the Demons D did all the heavy lifting for him. Unfortunately, for Bob, he is living in another world. A world where he must keep telling himself everything will be ok. I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful... I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful..But, it's not wonderful, it's not good. The Demons did just about what they can be expected to do. However, under 300 points in this league just will not cut it on a weekly basis. Fortunately, there is the therapy, and the Demons are going to need a lot of it. The Cats bury this poop in the litter box and remain undefeated....

8 ball wisdom: I sail.....I sail now....I'm a sailor...

THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES
Legends (1-0) v Degenerates (0-1)

The Degenerates did not disappoint in week 1. Their high powered offense mostly showed up like they were supposed too. And, the defense, did squat, like they were supposed to. This is the classic case of why you need a good D in this league. Without a fluke performance from Porter the Degenerates would have lost by 60+. Unfortunately, for Vegas, things aren't looking up. Remember the Outlaw Josey Wales always had a big chew in his mouth and spit it on anything and anyone ? That is what I see in this matchup. Vegas is the bug crawling across the ground and Vince is Josey hurling the perfect ball of tabacco spit and nailing him as he tries to crawl to safety.

8 ball recalls: Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms

CHRISTMAS VACATION
Headhunters (1-0) v Gadabouts (0-1)

The Gadabouts lost a close one in week 1 to a Duffers team we, here at the 8 ball report, obviously underestimated. Meanwhile, the Headhunters eeked out a win with a solid showing across his team from all but a few players. This week the Headhunters garner matches from their core players against the Colts, Jags, and Dolphins. The Gadaboys don't have bad matchups but lack the firepower to board enough points to stay close. As the Headhunters bask in the glory of Christmas, the Gaydarboys stand in the cold, cigar in hand.........

8 ball screams: SHITTER'S FULL!!!!!!!

TOMBSTONE
Dragons (1-0) v Clowns (0-1)

Last week, the Dragons got a gift. As luck would have it the firepower Florida has on their team decided to stay home. Thus, a half hearted win. The Clowns, they stayed home too. They, the Clowns, look mean. Scary little bastards in the face. But underneath just a sheep in wolves clothing. They have some guys who can flat play ball. But the rest that are sprinkled in are to leave him wanting for the rest of the year. The Clowns do not posses the horses to put up a 300+ score on a weekly basis. Therefore, the challenge for them will be in trading and the waiver wire to try to muster some kind of a respectful season. The Dragons pull a Wyatt Earp on Johnny Tyler.....

The 8 ball chimes in: You gonna do something or just stand there and bleed

TWINS
Chaetomorpha (0-1) v Eternals (1-0)

Chaetomorpha laid an egg week 1. Or, whatever seaweed poops, that's what happened. They nearly would have lost to the Clowns. The Eternals, however, surprised us. The Eternals got big games out of some guys who probably won't do that very often. FloRIDA got bad games from guys who should show up in the coming weeks. To us at the 8 ball report this is a Twins moment. In our opinion two totally opposite teams that are showing totally opposite of their capabilities. This week the Eternals will be relying on some guys who came out of nowhere in week 1. The norm on that is.....those guys usually go back in the closet. Chaeto is praying that his stars actually will come out an perform. This coming Tuesday both of these teams will have twin records and the universe will be balanced once again.

The magic sphere remembers: My name is Julius and I am your twin brother. Oh, obviously!

YOUNG GUNS II
Bombers (0-1) v Pigskins (1-0)

The Bombers got their buts handed to them in a Sling last week. While the Skin road their young guns to victory in our inaugural week. This week we see much of the same the old dogs for the Bombers will put up a good fight. And, the Skins' young pups will try to run rampant once again in week two. As much as I love the power of veterans in FF, the pups on the Pigskins roster have super good matchups to exploit. As the Skins look down on their rivals from the second floor window, they can enjoy at least one more week of young guns making their mark.

Ol' #8 shouts: Best dollar eighty I ever spent

KARATE KID
Spazz (0-1) v Eagles(1-0)

Man I love a good fight. I love a good underdog getting beat down, no respect and then BAM, kicking the crap out of the bully. The Spazz looked done. Trading away any hope for a successful season. Now, those scrubs everyone thought would garner him a top pick come draft day, are starters. And, those Eagles, that everyone thought were a slam dunk for greatness, look, mortal. The Spazz even though losing are riding high on the thought that maybe, just maybe he doesn't suck that bad. And, the Eagles, even though winning last week, should feel as if maybe they can't stand up as the best in the league. Now, as much as we here at the 8 ball report love the underdog. We believe, that little Machio dude should have gotten his ass kicked in the end cause that crane kick is a bunch of horse puckey. Spazz tap out in the 3rd....

Sensei 8 ball say: Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything

PREDATOR
Africans (0-1) v Duffers (1-0)

The Duffers squeaked out a win from the Gadabouts in week 1. Getting solid performances throughout his lineup. The Africans, however, hung tough all weekend until the end. But, failed to finish the Headhunters off. This, to me, is one of the best matches of the week. Both teams offenses are stacked. Both teams defenses are lacking. No offensive players facing real formidable defenses. This should be a great one. The big bad alien vs. ARNOLD. In the end, the Duffers get blown to hell, while the Africans barely walk away.

SGT.. 8 Ball whispers: You're ghostin' us, motherfu&%er.
TERMINATOR
Slings (1-0) v Destroyers (0-1)

The Slings got a gift last week. They just happened to play the worst team in the conference this day and barely made it happen at that. The Destroyers showed well but picked the wrong skin to play week 1. Week 2, however, will be different and similar. The difference being that the Slings will score more points this week. The similarity being that the Destroyers will put up a fight again but end up just missing out on another win. Just like the terminator always seems to just miss out on killing John Connor, the Destroyers will end up helping their intended victim by the end(by letting the Slings steal another win)

Terminator 8 demands: Your clothes... give them to me, now.


THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
Empire (0-1) v CCS (0-1)

The only battle of winless team this week is an easy one. The Empire put up enough points to beat 3/4 of his conferencedre. However,he drew the short straw last week, having to face those pesky Cats. CCS could have beat a mere 2 teams in the entire league with the poo he put on the field. Unfortunately for the rebellion things will not get any better this week. They will be lucky to best their point total from a week ago. While the Empire will stormtrooper in and destroy CCS with hardly a punch thrown. The ugliness continues for the Syndicate in week 2 with no end in sight.

Darth Ball breathes: Don't fail me again, Admiral.

MRS. DOUBTFIRE
Killers (0-1) v Werewolves (1-0)
As of this writing, Midnight EST. Thursday, Sept. 13th The Werewolves have yet to set a lineup for week two.........THEY LOSE...

DoubtfireBALL screams: Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise

Until we meet again......

Roster Wars Times apprentice matchup writer

Yukon G O'toohel

Week 2: Monster Matchup

Happy Wednesday everyone! I know you've all been DYING for this day to come since last week's installments, but don't worry- I've almost perfected the process for reanimation. I almost needed it myself after seeing the results of last week's Monster Matchup. The matchup went back and forth all weekend, but in the end the Dragons came out on top. RG3 was a revelation for the Dragons, and the Cheetos had a few major let downs on the offensive side of the ball. However, I spoke with my pharmacist, and I believe that we figured out where the mix-up was in my pharmaceuticals last week, leading to my skewed predictions. All appears to be civil between last week's Monster contenders, much to the chagrin of Legends manager Vince. However, this week's matchup is shaping up to be a doozy.

Enough with the small talk- I know everyone wants to know about this week's matchup. Without further ado, I give you week 2's MONSTER MATCHUP between the Utah Spazz and the Colorado Screaming Eagles! The Spazz have decided to send out 2 quarterbacks, 2 running backs, 4 wide receivers, and 2 tight ends, in addition to their kicker. Matching them on offense, the Screaming Eagles are sending out 2 quarterbacks, a single running back, 4 wide receivers, 3 tight ends and a kicker. On the defensive side of the ball, the Spazz are deploying a unique formation in anticipation of the Eagle's strong quarterback duo. They are lining up with a single defensive tackle and defensive end, 4 linebackers, a single cornerback, and 4 safeties. The Screaming Eagles are utilizing a very different strategy, obviously believing that pressuring the quarterback and stuffing the run is the way to go. They are deploying 2 defensive tackles, 4 defensive ends, a single linebacker and cornerback, and 3 safeties.

Each team has several players that will be crucial. The Screaming Eagles are built around a strong offense. Several of their players disappointed week 1. Manager Shawn Weiber was quoted as saying, "the biggest shock for me, is that we went with a 4 wide set and didn't get a single touchdown in the books from the entire set. We originally believed that our starting 4 guys would be able to put up a minimum of 2 touchdowns a week." However, he is clearly confident in his corp, as he is giving all 4 receivers a chance to redeem themselves this week. It helps his receiving corp that they have a strong crutch in quarterbacks Aaron Rodgers and Eli Manning, in addition to the league's premier tight end duo of Jimmy Graham and Rob Gronkowski. They will need improved play out of Eli, but Rodgers, Graham and Gronkowski continued their torrid pace that led to their high auction prices. On the defensive side, the Screaming Eagles are eagerly awaiting the return of their star linebacker James Harrison. They are further hoping for a repeat performance by their week 1 defensive stars JJ Watt and Ahtyba Rubin, who combined for just under 50 points.

The Spazz are depending on lightning striking twice, as their team, generally seen as a ragtag bunch of underperformers, shocked the league with a very strong showing week 1. After blowing up his team with a series of trades, many had written off James' Spazz attack. The manager himself was quoted referring to his team's "lack of studs" as an issue he foresaw. Well James must have given a hell of a pregame and halftime speech, for his squad put up the third highest total in his conference. He is hoping that he can get improved quarterback play this week, as both Andrew Luck and Cam Newton were underwhelming in the fantasy department. However, James appears confident that his week 1 surprise RB duo of Alfred Morris and CJ Spiller can continue their hot streak. The Spazz are also assured by their assertion that a rebound game by Eli will aid in his star receiver Hakeem Nicks making up for a lackluster week 1 performance. While his tight ends surely have upside, it will be hard for them to match up with Gronk and Graham. However, Utah does have some power on the defensive side of the ball, with Randy Starks, Brian Cushing, Antoine Bethea, and DeMeco Ryans combining for over 100 points week 1. The Spazz's biggest challenge will be choosing who to leave on the bench, as last week his bench would have been the highest scoring team in the league.

This doctor believes that between the screaming and spazzing this could be one of the biggest matchups of week 2. Back in May, the Screaming Eagles received almost twice as many first place votes when asked who would win the Third Chapter. In my medically quasi-professional opinion, I believe that this matchup will be quite close. I give the offensive edge to Colorado and the defensive edge to Utah. Utah would have taken this battle if they had faced week 1. However, I think that in the end, experience will overpower youth, and the Screaming Eagles will walk away 2-0, leaving the Utah Spazz winless after week 2 despite another strong showing.

Good luck to everyone not playing the Pigskins this week!