Thursday, September 20, 2012

WEEK 3: Magic 8 Ball Report

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WEEK 3: Magic 8 Ball Report
Week 2 Record (10-2)
Overall Record. (17-7)

Florida (1-1) v New Mexico (0-2)

These clowns just can't catch a break. Their players are good, friendly guys. But, sadly, there are just not enough of them that can provide the output needed to compete. Happily, the chaetomorpha won their game last week. They were so excited. It was great. Even though this week they will crush the clowns. They still plan to have a face painting and fish cracker party after the game.

Our happy little ball says: How nice is that :)

Minnesota (1-1) v England (1-1)

An embarrassing loss last week did not make for a happy poppa on his weekly radio show. He blames it on sleep but really needs a hug(enter Justin). The dragons are undefeated and have had the luxury of playing two teams who's point totals were some of the lowest in the league. But he ain't frownin'. He uh happy dragon. Frolicking in the Autumn mist in a land called Honalee. However, poppa knows he can't let this dragon go undefeated in this chapter without a fight(which we don't condone). But in the end, he will saddle, mount, break and tame this dragon before he gets out of control.

8 ball lovingly says: who needs his belly scratched, good boy

St. Louis (2-0) v Wyoming (2-0)

At the time of this article the Duffers had won their game by 1.02 points, so we go with that. These two undefeated head into week 3, each vying for a perfect record in Chapter 2 before heading to out of chapter games. The Duffers, in our opinion, have outplayed their potential in the last 2 weeks. But, that's how you win titles in FF. The Headhunters have not been special but have done just enough to get wins. Neither team have great matchups on offense and once again, the RWT believe the D will be the key here. An afternoon of watching Caddyshack together, instead of the game, and the Duffers feel a little poke.........

8 ball cringes: Will you please....suck out the poison for me

Sanibel (0-2) v Atlanta (0-2)

Obviously not the start that either of these teams envisioned for their inagural season at RW. One of these teams will be 3 games back in their chapter by Tuesday morning. The Gadabouts, are lacking......in everything...on offense, while their D is the only thing keeping them alive. The Africans, have just missed in the first 2 weeks. They have the firepower but haven't had the right match-up, until now. The poor relocated Gadabouts, will go on feeling left out and the Africans will console them with a good beating this weekend. As Ian massages out the pain......

The 8 ball directs: A little to the left

Las Vegas (0-2) v Utah (0-2)

There is always something to feel good about, no? I mean if you look at this match-up, both of these guys will have a good week. Spazz has put up plenty of points so far. Enough to sit atop the power rankings in DD, winless. The Degenerates have not suprised themselves. Vegas knew he would struggle this year. The happiness comes when the Spazz finally get their first win(no matter how low they score), and the Degenerates don't get their hopes up by winning a game. It will be like they are laying in a bed of roses together. Bliss.

8 ball rolls over and: NEIGHH

Colorado (2-0) v Omega City (2-0)

So, the polar opposite of the two winless teams facing each other is this. The twin towers in Chapter 3. The legends barely scraping out a win against a hapless Vegas squad. And, the Eagles making it look easy against a gamer in Utah. The legends are ever confident, making it a jolly good time reading his books errr....posts. However, he must put that confidence aside this week, and realize that his dropoff in production is a sign of things to come. Take a deep breath and close them sleepy little eyes cause the sandman from Colorado is going to sing you to sleep......

8 ball sings softly: lullaby and goodnight la la la la la la la

Philly (2-0) v Singapore (1-1)

Have you ever been beaten by a dollop? A smidgen? A squirt? A dash? A tidbit? Sure you have. This ain't one of those times. The Slings have matchups up and down their roster that scream, "oh shit"!!! We here at RWT, don't feel bad for teams very often, but in this flowery edition we feel like crying for the Slings. And you should too. If you see him this week, pat him on his bottom and tell him, just cause you lose doesn't make you a loser. Winning isn't everything.

8 ball rebuts: the hell it isn't

Minnesota (1-1) v Norfolk (0-2)

The Bombers are struggling. They are just not putting up the point totals required to win consistently in RW. I was surprised when looking at their lineup though. It don't suck now, really. It's pretty good. I thought this to be an easy pick, but now I'm a bit vexed. I feel like the destroyers have been outdoing themselves. And, the Bombers are underperforming. In the end, though in a very close game, the Destroyers will plant a third straight loss on the Bombers and bury them in a huge hole.

8 ball offers: what size casket can I get for ya

Chicago (0-2) v Hamilton (2-0)

Not the kind of start CCS envisioned in RW when he swarmed his way into the league at the last second. It's bad and dont look good this week. The Cats, however, have no worries. Their offense is playable but this defense is lights out. The Cats and Headhunters obviously had the same vision to build a stellar defense as the cornerstone of the team(no wonder those two guys get along so well). And, then let the offense pick up the scraps. This idea has led the Cats to 2 high output weeks and he isn't about to stop in week 3. CCS is just another in a long line of teams to fall 3 games back in their chapter after 3 games played and looking forward to drinking from the pee pee bowl.

8 ball askes: Would you like that super sized?

Adelaide (1-1) v Decatur (1-1)

If The Empire hadn't met the big Cat in week 1 they would easily be 2-0. They sit atop the power rankings in TT. The Demons got a early Christmas present and drew CCS in week one and got their lone win(that everyone else in this chapter will also get). This one looks pretty darn close this week. I couldn't find anything that really stood out other than the QB's that the Empire is playing. That combined with the fact that the Demons are playing Shonn Greene(barf), make me lean towards the Empire in this one. Too bad we can't play 2 kickers.

8 ball reveals: Drop Shonn Greene for Olindo Mare

Carolina (1-1) v Jersey (1-1)

This one is easy. As of 11 am EST on Thursday the Werewolves had not submitted a lineup. Worked last week. Jersey wins.

8 ball pleads: help us out here man

San Fransisco (1-1) v San Diego (1-1)

This chapter is knotted up. The only chapter where all 4 teams sport the same record. This weekend it's the battle for California. North vs South. Both these guys got their first win last week. San Fran smoked the legionnaires, who thought they were invincible after week one. While the killers eeked one out on the Werewolves. In this one there are too many PPR points to be had for San Fran. The Killers make this one look more like they did in week 1.

8 Ball laughs: just stay home

Love conquers all.

Roster Wars Times Senior Janitor

Mani Chitsbig

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