Well folks, it’s been another exciting week in Roster Wars. However, this week has been even more exciting than normal- not because it’s the first week of football, but because it’s the first edition of the Monster Matchup, with Dr. Pigskinstein. It’s been an exciting initial offseason, filled with ups and downs but we’re finally here. Teams have been created, rated, insulted, defended, and altered. And without further ado, here is our first monster matchup!
Week 1 is going to look at the divisional showdown between the Florida Chaetomorpha and the England Dragons. The Dragons and Chaetomorpha have had very different approaches to the season. Based on our controversial rankings, Stylianos finished the auction among the bottom teams, while Jon was deemed to have one of Roster Wars’ best squads. Dragons shared his utmost confidence, claiming that he has the best defense in the DD. However, Stylianos took his criticism to heart and made a flurry of moves to improve his roster. For their team debuts, the Dragons will be sending out an offensive squad consisting of 2 Quarterbacks, 2 Runningbacks, 5 Wide Receivers, and a single Tight End and Kicker. Their defensive formation will feature a single Defensive Tackle, 3 Defensive Ends, 4 Linebackers, a Cornerback and 2 Safeties. The Chaetomorpha will counter them with an offensive formation with 2 Quarterbacks, 3 Running Backs, 4 Wide Receivers, a Tight End and a Kicker. On defense Florida will be sending out a Defensive Tackle, 2 Defensive Ends, 4 Linebackers, a Cornerback and 3 Safeties. Florida is obviously anticipating England to attack through the air.
As the dust has settled on their active offseasons, there are some players that stand out to this doctor as crucial towards each team’s victory. England needs a strong debut from rookie quarterback RG3, who could be welcomed to the NFL with a shootout against new passing king Drew Brees. MJD decided to join his team shortly before the season began. He had demanded a trade after Jon only signed him to a 3 year deal, but after more fines than Style’s War Bucks could cover, he decided to rejoin his team. I foresee a monster let down week 1, as Rashad Jennings will be starting. Last year’s holdout example did not fare well, and MJD is on a much worse team. Dragon’s next 2 key players are making their debuts with new teams, as Brandon Marshall is reunited with Jay Cutler and Mario Williams begins his contract with the Bills. Marshall should be a solid contributor this season, and Williams should flourish in his return to the line. The Dragons will be missing some of their star players as well this week, as Ryan Mathews and Kenny Britt are both recovering from controversial procedures- Mathews having his ankles replaced with wine glasses and Britt having his brain replaced with a carrot.
The Chaetomorpha have been one of the most active teams since the conclusion of our draft. Racking up War Bucks, and establishing a revolving door of draft picks, The Chaetomorpha even traded away the very player he claimed was the focal point of his auction strategy, proving that no single player is safe from his attempts to improve his team. Staying true to their Tampa roots, the team has collected a plethora of Buccaneers. Stylianos will surely be on the edge of his seat for Sunday’s matchup between the Buccaneers and the Panthers, as a full third of his starting roster will be playing in that game. Outside of that game, there are several other important players whose performance could determine the success of the Seaweed in week 1. Mike Wallace, Jordy Nelson, and Dez Bryant could combine to be a modern day Cerberus, or just a 3 headed headache. All have major questions coming into the season, but have shown that their upside is on par with the best in the game. The Chaetomorpha also need solid if not spectacular play out of both quarterbacks this week, as both have shown glimpses, but need to take another step in consistency to make this doctor a believer. Chris Long and D’Qwell Jackson are 2 additional critical components in the Chaetomorpha starting out among Roster Wars’ undefeated ranks. Both have shown they can be beasts at their respective positions, with health being their primary concern.
I may be mixing medications, but this week’s projected winner of the Monster Matchup is the Florida Chaetomorpha. I believe the Dragons have a slight edge defensively, but I give the offensive edge to the Chaetomorpha due to Florida’s strong WR corp, in addition to key losses to the Dragon’s starting lineup. All this leads me to believe that it will be a close matchup, with the slight edge going to the Chaetomorpha. I’m predicting victory by a single digit margin.
Good luck to everyone not playing the Pigskins this week!
Article by Matt K. (AKA Philadelphia Pigskins)
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